I grew up to hear my grandfather say to me jokingly any time I greeted him “Taiye, ma no e o, ma no e Taiye” (Taiye, I will beat you) before he eventually answered my greetings properly.
So, one day I asked him why he used to jokingly tell me he would beat me before answering my greetings.
I was amazed to discover that it was what my twin sister used to tell me when we were still very young, any time I did things that did not go well with her, and it seems she could deal with me without any problem and its like I used to be very careful not to get beaten by her too. Smiles, not any more though.
But when we became more mature and I reminded her of how she used to threaten me, she becomes shy and uncomfortable, she does not like to be reminded that she used to say she would beat me any time I did things she did not like then, because she knows better now.
Do you know that she was only sincerely saying she would beat me to express her feelings and made me stop what I was doing that she did not like, to her, that was the best way she could express her mind to get me in order, she would have said it in another way, but, that’s the best way she knew how to express her mind. I wish you knew that it applies in marital relationships, you are saying he/she is making life difficult for you, he/ she is not making your relationship work.
Calm down, you MUST understand that PEOPLE ARE DOING THE BEST THEY CAN WITH THE RESOURCES(knowledge, understanding, exposure etc) AVAILABLE TO THEM.
If you understand this, it will help you to understand him/her. He/she is not wicked, he/she is only doing the best he/she can with the resources available to him/her.
I love and celebrate you greatly.